Chapter 1

In the darkness time is infinite. Drifting in and out of nightmares beyond imagining, brutal and endless. Scattered in are scarce memories of better times, times of comfort, times of passion. But they are few.

Slowly the darkness grows empty, hollow. Awareness of a world beyond the dark starts slowly, sometimes receding, but then returning, until finally it explodes… into pain.

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The body of the soldier on the table convulsed once before contracting into violent shaking. A disembodied voice commanded, 'Relax. Breathe.' The darkness was broken by an impossibly bright light. Disorienting. Assaults of sounds came from every angle. Angry beeping that resolved into the heavy staccato of gunfire. A sudden blinding flash of red and she was back…

…in the streets. Rifle impossibly heavy. Sweat pouring, or is it blood. No time to check. Another scream, a horrible sound that made her insides turn cold. A Banshee, another one. Hadn't they killed them all? Must have been at least twenty and yet they still keep coming. Ammo check, only quarter full. Bodies on the ground. Friend or foe, impossible to tell. She looked for her team but their identity was lost in the crack of the scorching red beam and piercing sound of the Reaper firing. She dove for cover.

The Reapers. Her body stilled. Her awareness flooded back. A calm of certainty overcoming her. The Reapers. She was here to stop them. Looking past the clouds of destruction she could see it. The red eye of Harbinger glowing dangerous and close. Looking at her. Knowing her. She would die here. The red glow swelled and the screaming alarm of the Reaper firing sounded. She raised an arm in useless defense…

…then quiet. The heat of war around her evaporated as fast as an airlock venting into deep space. The ringing in her ears began to subside giving way to softer sounds. Wind in trees. Life. Birds. A child laughing.

She lowered her arm, opening her eyes. Her charred and bloodied armor a striking contrast to the soft green rolling hills and tall grass suddenly surrounding her. Her eyes adjusted to see distant mountains. The sting of war in her senses began to subside.

Enormous weeping willows and trees bent by the endless force of natural winds dotted the rolling landscape. She was alone, standing as the one dark blemish on a perfect landscape.

The laughter again. Young, playful. Filled with innocence and joy.

Her rifle dissolved into dust in her hands and fell into the breeze, blowing away. She could feel the wind pulling at the matted strands of her hair, as gentle as a cool kiss against hot skin.

The laughter came again, carried on the wind from her left. She crested the hill to find one of the enormous windswept trees and underneath, three figures. Two adults and a child. They were sitting under the shade of the tree while the child spun and giggled. Without the thought of moving she was suddenly closer, pulled to them by their innocence. They were untouched by war. Surrounded by cool blue and soft greens, there was no harsh red light from the Reapers to taint this place. The tree that sheltered them was ancient. In the trunk a carving of an eight pointed star, like a compass, old but still bold and white against the dark bark. She stared at the star, squinting as if trying to glean it's meaning by looking harder.

The two adults laughed lightly drawing her gaze from the tree to the family. Yes. A family. Two parents, smiling wistfully at their playful child as she spun until she was dizzy and collapsed into her mother's lap. The child, an Asari. Puckish and spry and adorable. The soldier felt a smile trying to stretch her cracked lips. The child kissed her mother lightly and began to spin again. Her mother, also Asari, smiling.

Suddenly the soldier's breath was gone, sucked out of her by the jolt of recognition. Asari. Her Asari.

'Liara,' a voice whispered. The whisper echoed across the hills, carried by the breeze. The soldier's eyes stung as she tried to call to her but no sound came from her lips. Liara didn't see her. Couldn't see her. She tried harder to speak but only strangled wheezes escaped, her throat a desert of fire.

Liara was smiling again, this time at her companion. The other parent was human, a woman, smiling back at her, her smile softening her features. A human. With red hair and blue eyes that danced when she watched her Asari and their child. The face was familiar but the image was too much, too disparate. Confusion flooded the soldier, standing in her own blood, reeking of battle, in the presence of such innocence. She was a blight to this peaceful place. A danger to this family.

The trio laughed again, the two parents sharing an intimate look. The Asari reaching up to touch the human's face, caressing it tenderly.

The soldier's head snapped to the right as ominous sound echoed loudly just beyond the hills. She could see nothing but she could feel it. The evil, it was coming for her, coming for them. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, her heart raced. She reached for her weapon but it was gone, taken by the breeze. She looked at the family and tried screaming warnings at them. Only silence escaped. The family smiled at each other, oblivious to any danger. The sound boomed again, screaming like the twist of metal in anguish, closer but still the soldier could not see it. She could feel the panic rising. She gathered all of her breathe and remaining strength and screamed a warning again.

The star on the tree began to glow, growing exponentially as the family continued to smile. The white light overtook the soldier like a crashing wave, knocking her back, burying her. She gasped for breathe and pushed herself up, fighting the wave, fighting the evil, fighting the Reapers, fighting to stay alive, fighting to get back.

'Relax. Breathe,' the voice said again. Closer this time. Calmer. The wave receded and the soldier gasped for air, giving in to the pressure on her shoulders to stay down. A dark shape intruded into the blinding light, round and soft. The shape resolved slowly into a blurred face. Calm. 'Relax. Breathe,' it told her.

The gentle confidence in the voice allowed the command to seep into the soldier's consciousness. She submitted. She was on her back she realized. More shapes resolved, the bright light began to recede. A room. She opened her mouth, trying to work out sounds. Nothing.

The face belonged to a woman, she could see that now. She was standing over her, offering a gentle smile. 'Relax and breathe. Speaking will come later. Not to worry, you're safe.'

She was suddenly aware of pain. Every cell in her body ached. She willingly relented to the calming voice. She felt a quick, hard pressure against her neck and the pain began to dissolve away. But she was slipping back into the darkness as well. She didn't want the darkness. There were too many things haunting her there. But she was too exhausted to resist. So it claimed her again.

The soldier didn't know how much time had passed when she next saw the room. It felt like years fighting the Reapers in the darkness. She'd seen the family again too. Tried to warn them. Tried to save them. Tried to save Liara.

She lay still, letting her senses acclimate to the environment. Soft beeps and whirs filled the silence, but she seemed to be alone. She tried lifting her right hand. It left like it was made of lead but she managed. She touched her face. Touching a spot on her forehead sent lighting bolts of pain as the darkness threatened to swallow her again. She fought her way back to consciousness.

A new sound. A voice, distant, like in the next room. She focused, listening, trying not to move because the pain would block out everything else.

'…blood pressure is normal but her heart rate spikes every time we try to bring her back out.' The calming voice.

'I suspect the sedatives aren't doing much anymore.' A new voice, confident, female, modulated like through a com link.

'I don't understand it. Her body has been well healed for weeks. We should have been able to bring her out of the coma by now.'

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The voice sounded speculative. 'We just have no idea the extent of the mental trauma and damage. She's going to have to come around on her own. What about the nightmares?'

'Still happening. I try to counter act them by prompting the positive memory cells with the algorithms you sent but it's not having much affect.'

'The trauma may be too acute. Keep trying though. I have to go. Keep me posted.' The voice over the com sounded familiar but it hurt too much to try and place it. By the time the woman came back into the room the darkness was dragging her under again.

She was back in the meadow with the family, watching them laugh together. The soldier's eyes followed Liara, her mannerisms so familiar they almost hurt to watch. Slowly the time fighting the Reapers and fighting death seemed to lessen and time near the meadow stretched longer. She could almost feel the peace touch her. She longed for it. She was staring hard at Liara, willing her to see her.

A breeze blew and prickled the exposed flesh on the Soldier's arms. She moved her pained lips, focusing on her breath. 'Liara,' she whispered. The branches of the trees swayed in delight. A chill ran through her. When she looked up again, Liara was staring at her, her head cocked slightly to the side. She was looking at her, no, seeing her. For the first time. The soldier locked eyes with her, trying to convey everything in a look. 'Liara,' she whispered again.

Liara stood, never breaking her gaze, her face suddenly clouding with concern. She took a step and reached out her hand, 'Shepard!'

And then they were gone.

The room resolved more quickly this time. It was becoming familiar. She was in a bed she realized, surrounded by machines. Maybe a hospital, although it was always quiet and there were no other patients. The woman with the calming voice would come and go, soothing as she could. The pain began to recede from the razor's edge and she was able to remain conscious longer.

The woman entered the room and appeared above her. She smiled gently and reached towards the sore spot on her head. The soldier's hand snapped up at lightning speed and stopped her wrist with a vice-like grip. The woman was obviously startled. 'Shhh..' the soldier tried to speak. She paused to take a breath, 'Shep… Shepard. My name is… Shepard.' The sound of her voice was raspy and strained, but it had worked.

The startled look receded and gave way to a smile. 'I know Commander, we've met before.'

Shepard was waiting for her the next time she came in the room. Her eyes followed the woman as she made notes of readings on her data pad.

'Orr…Oriana,' she said, her voice stronger.

The woman stopped and looked at her.

'You're Oriana, Miranda's ssss… sister.'

She smiled. 'Very good Commander.' She walked over and set down her data pad. She started to reach for Shepard's head but stopped short, hesitating. 'I'm going to check your sutures, ok?'

Shepard nodded, keeping her hands by her sides this time.

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As she delicately probed the tender area, she asked, 'Do you remember the last time we met?'

Shepard searched her memory. Speaking was getting easier but the gaps in her memory were still pretty enormous. Images of a space station, a supposed safe haven for refugees from the war… only not. A stacatto of images flashed in her mind… soldiers, husks, banshees… innocent refugees transformed into hideous monsters at the whim of a madman. Then a flash of the woman standing calmly before her now, held in the tight grip of that man, her own father, his gun leveled at her head. She flinched as a biotic field smashed into him and he screamed, the sound as piercing as if it was happening in front of her now. She blinked hard, forcing herself to breathe slowly and her gaze found the tranquil one of the woman over her. 'Sss..Sanctuary.'

Oriana smiled gently, a hint of the grim memories clouding her bright eyes. 'That's right.'

She finished with the exam and perched on the edge of the bed, hands in her lap. 'Do you know where you are?'

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Shepard searched her memory but the answers felt just out of reach in her mind. After a moment, Oriana offered her an easy smile and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. 'Not to worry. You'll get there.'

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Frustration burned through Shepard like acid in her veins. There was something important to say, if only she could remember what it was.